i need an iv and a liver transplant
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
