listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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