Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
