Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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