Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
