NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
