so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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