Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
