quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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