if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Come on in and take your pants off
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