The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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