If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
