Are we in a gay sports bar?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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