why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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