you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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