If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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