i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Boobs speak an international language.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
