Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
