Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
