Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
