If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
being pregnant is like rehab
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
