ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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