He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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