Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
