I love black thongs
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i think i just lost a toe
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
