she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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