why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
