Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
