she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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