I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
