My nipple is on Facebook.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We had sex on a dog bed..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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