she smelled like a LAN party
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
