i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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