Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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