listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
