All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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