I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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