Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
