didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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