he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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