we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
