ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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