@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
