can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
