Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
