We won't sleep together?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize