Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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