And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
