when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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