Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
