so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
