Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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