I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
