Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
