I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
