bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Come on in and take your pants off
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