Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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