so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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