wanna go halves on a baby?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i dont even know how to be here
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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