physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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