oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
