all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This is the high leading the old right now
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
how do you play pong handcuffed?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
