so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
