Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
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