rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
