Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
