Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
