Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
