I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
