dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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