butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize