If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
