NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
