apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
