Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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