My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
