he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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