Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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