oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
