I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
