This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
