And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
