dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
