Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
