Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
