i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
